Relationship Reflection

My children are my most highly valued relationships.  I cannot put one before the other or in a sequence of importance. Each of my children play a vital role in shaping the person I have become and who I strive to be as each new day passes.

My daughter Shelby who is 14 years old (looks 18) is my rock and comedian.  My relationship with her is one of mutual trust, respect, and understanding.  Through all of the hardships our family has faced it was up to her and I to make it right for the other two.  We joke and laugh and look at the positive side of life.  It is the relationship and bond that we share that allows us to be ourselves and like each other the person we are without reservations.  Shelby is a beautiful person who often time looks at the world through eyes of an experienced adult.  Shelby was the most difficult baby out of my three children and to this this day the most stubborn.  I enjoy that quality because she pushes me every day to be the best mom I can be.

Rhett Matthew my son of a wise 11 years is the only male in our household.  With that being said, he is also the most dramatic, and high maintenance.  Rhett was diagnosed at age 7 with ADHD.  A diagnosis that not only explained his behavior but changed my life forever.  His diagnoses changed the way I parented my children. As a young woman starting a family I thought that the best way to raise children was the way in which I was brought up.  A firm hand and instilment of old southern values.  After many nights of tears thinking that I was the worst mom I began to research Rhett’s diagnosis and learned an entire new way of handling his episodes, frustration, and abilities.  I was a new parent, a better parent and a more involved parent.  Rhett taught me that there are so many ways to reach your children and if the first path is blocked it ok to take the dirt road.  He taught me that compassion, understanding, and listening to your child is the foundation a love that he will always be able to carry with him and pass on.

                                                                                          

Emalyn Daisy my 7 year old butterfly of free spirit and love.  I chose to incorporate the name Ema in her first name because it is derived from the meaning, complete or whole.  Emalyn did exactly that on June 5^th 2005.  She completed my world and our family.  Emalyn is smart, funny, and adventurous and loves life.  The excitement I see in her eyes for each new day as it begins inspires me to make each day count and live life with no regrets.  Emalyn is very much the baby of the house but she is also the “mini” me of the children.  It is so funny that a little girl so small and so carefree can bring together a family like she does.  The thing that surprises me about Emalyn is that she is what people call an old sole.  She is not taken by the high tech social media of her generation, she ids my thumb sucking lovey carrying baby girl who on a weekly occasion asks me,” Mom do you know why I love you so much?”  I always respond, “I don’t know, why?” She says, “Because you did such a great job giving birth to me.”  Emalyn appreciates life; she appreciated a rainbow, the crickets chirping, a lost kitten, and the new fallen snow.  She reminds me every day that I am exactly where I need to be in life and to never take love or life for granted.

Knowing how to relate to my children as individuals first and as children second gives me an advantage when building a foundation for any relationship and or partnership.  Looking people as they appear individually will allow you let go of culturally based biases.  I have a general love of people.  Loving people and wanting to know what makes them unique and genuine is the best foundation for a lasting and valued relationship.